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Escape from extinction

February 15th, 2019 Leave a comment Go to comments

Theory: the Deccan Traps’ violent eruptions stage the stage for the dinosaurs’ extinction

I know everyone’s tired from the journey, and the good news is I think we can finally stop here. It’s been exhausting getting here, but I maintain that we had no choice other than to evacuate the subcontinent we were on. All of our friends were being swallowed up by lava floes! The incessant roaring of their agonized voices still gives me nightmares. There was simply no way out for us but to run.

Now, I know many of you are of the opinion that we didn’t need to run nearly as far as I’ve led us. Believe me, you’ve made that clear. It’s just that, I don’t know, I have this weird hunch that it was the only way we’d survive. Yes, hundreds of us perished along the way as well, but most of us didn’t. Take a look around! All of you are survivors and should be proud of that! Nature gave us her best shot and we came out on top!

Getting over all those mountains was arduous, and walking along the coastline felt like an eternity. All of that ice was painful on everyone’s feet, only to be followed by another seeming lifetime of walking along the ocean again. I’m leaving out a lot, I know, but my point is that every last one of you has a cause to celebrate. We’ve reached our new home! And I think we should call it something really cool to remind us of our luck. Something like Yucatan maybe.

First, I sure could use something to eat. Couldn’t all of you? Well, let’s divide into groups and take a look around for what’s available to us. I’ll go this way, and some of you can go that w… Say, do you guys see something up there in the sky? Like a little dark boulder? Seems like it’s getting bigger too. And fast! Have any of you ever seen a shadow get so huge so fast? It’s like a huge object is falling out of the sky and coming right at us and OH MY G-

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