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Humor museum

February 11th, 2019 Leave a comment Go to comments

Okay, who’s ready to get started? All right, an enthusiastic group! Love it! That’s great to see. I’m Shane, your guide today for a tour through the Humor Museum. Just a couple of things to cover before we get going. First, there’s no photography allowed in the museum, and secondly, we ask that you not touch any of the exhibits while we’re passing through. Other than that, you’re free to enjoy yourselves as much as possible. So let’s do this!

This first area is called the Sanguine Wing. The humor associated with this title is blood, as you can see from our giant vat of it over there. Fun fact: there are nearly 400 gallons of blood in there, and all of it is type AB! That’s right, the rarest of all the blood types. Neat, huh? We’ve fielded requests since this place opened to donate it to a blood bank, given how precious it is, but the people asking never take into account how long it took us to acquire all of it. We spent years acquiring all this stuff, and they want us to just give it away? Ha!

Now, people in medieval times believed this humor was associated with adolescence and the atmospheric qualities of hot and moist. The reason for this is…yes, ma’am? You have a question? No, this isn’t a comedy museum. I’m not sure how you could have gotten that impression. This place is devoted to the four humors of the body that were believed to determine the characteristics of all animal species, including humans. This notion came into being in Ancient Greece, and that’s what this building has been dedicated to showcasing.

Moving on, the sanguine humor was also associated with the element of air. Common thought at the time was that there were four elements among us that were directly relatable to the humors: earth, wind, fire and air. The idea was…wait, so all of you here thought this was a museum about comedy? Didn’t you check our website out at all before signing up for the tour? Oh, right. It’s under construction. Well, if you folks are interested in something funny, you’ll love the Phlegmatic Wing. We house the world’s largest known pile of snot in there!

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