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Pad ties

January 14th, 2019 Leave a comment Go to comments

You, sir! Step right up! You’re looking awfully dapper in that bolo, my friend, but what if I were to tell you there’s a 100% biodegradable wheat-based version available instead? That’s right! It’s good for the environment and great for your style! I’m talking about this piece of spaghetti that loops around your neck and fits together in front with a ravioli. Your choice of filling!

No dice, eh? Then how about you, dear fellow? Need some pasta pizazz in your life to get away from that boring necktie? Then come on over here and get a load of this extra long lasagna noodle! This baby can go with any outfit you have. Just dunk it in a sauce that best matches the clothes you’re wearing and you’re looking like a million bucks! Or do I mean lira? Ha ha h-

Huh. Okay, then… You! With the ascot! Wouldn’t you love to sport a version that looks just like what you have now, but is made entirely out of egg noodles? It’s the latest craze! And imagine if you’re on your way home from a wedding or somewhere other than this trade show where you’re wearing it and get trapped in the car. You can eat the noodles while you wait for the paramedics! This thing’s a lifesaver!

Well, then what about you, sir? Yes, with the cravat. Don’t you think that could look even better made out of fusilli? Or you, with the skinny tie straight out of the 60s. What says retro more than an angel hair tie? Maybe you, mister, with the briefcase? Instead of dragging that around, you could just wear one of my penne ties and roll your papers up to keep inside! Not for you, eh? Then you there, with the bow tie! Wouldn’t you rather have this giant bow tie pasta piece instead? It’s not even a clip-on! The starch makes it stick directly to your shirt!

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