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A paean to vocabulary

January 2nd, 2019 Leave a comment Go to comments

Okay, I’m going to have to stop you right there. Paean? Is that Latin for Satan or something? Sounds pretty Satanic to me. Oh, it means “laudation,” does it? Uh huh. You definitely didn’t just make that word up. I mention the devil and you retort by adding “Asian” to the end of Lord for some weird reason. I came here for a vocabulary lesson, not to be subjected to blasphemy! I realize the form said tipping 15% is standard here, but I assumed you would at least try to earn it. This is off to a pretty bad start, don’t you think?

So laudation’s definition is “kudos,” is it? Now you’re just name-checking the granola bar brand? Do they even sell Kudos anymore? Surely not. They were so terrible. You could have at least said Kashi if you’re just going to sit here and mention breakfast bars. Well, what did you mean then? “Prays and approbation,” you say. What? You’re telling me that praying for a probation sentence is what this pagan/paean word means? You should always pray for the maximum punishment because sin is wicked and needs to be disciplined!

I’m a preacher who just wanted to do this to learn more words that describe glorifying God to maintain a bond with my congregation. To describe the beauty of it. But I certainly didn’t come here to be told a bunch of made-up definitions that all describe evil! Well, obviously you think I’m overreacting, but you are not the one Satan is trying to tempt here today. No, you’ve already been corrupted, but I’m willing to try again if you insist. It seems unlikely, but perhaps you’re right that this is all a misunderstanding.

“Homage”? What is that, a type of murder?

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