Home > satan > The great unknown!

The great unknown!

December 5th, 2018 Leave a comment Go to comments

Gravity’s inescapable, folks. What can I say? All of this was in the form you signed to be here. Soon you’ll experience the weight of your own organs imploding, which is a hell of a rush, but unfortunately only temporary and also very fatal. Again, you signed that contract. Hell of a vibe though, yeah?

The problem with space tourism is that there just isn’t time to map out the expanse. You consumers are too demanding, and we end up cutting the corners that leave us here, sucked into an abyss. You complain of your imminent doom, but risking that was the only way to transverse the Andromeda Galaxy in two weeks! Risk versus reward, it’s all in the contract!

Feel those Gs? Heavy, right? Yeah baby, that’s the tractor beam of doom settling in. It’s like that weighted vest thing the dentist puts on you before the X-ray, right? A cold comfort for the situation, but a comfort all the same. Just relax and let it absorb you. Whooosh. Think of it like a reverse hand dryer, but without the satisfaction of living through the experience.

Whooosh, you know? Get a load of thi-

No refunds.

Categories: satan
  1. No comments yet.
  1. No trackbacks yet.