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61446 Kompromat Blvd.

November 30th, 2018 Leave a comment Go to comments


(IRIS FISCHER enters lobby curiously)

DMITRI SOKOLOV (behind counter): Greetings, and welcome to Trump Tower Moscow! How may I be of service?

FISCHER: Hello. I was just wandering around and noticed this place. I was under the impression it didn’t exist?

SOKOLOV: Oh, we get that all the time, especially recently. But I can assure you this is real. We’ve been operating here for years.

FISCHER: Really? The news is buzzing about how Donald Trump tried for decades to build this place but could never pull it off for various reasons.

SOKOLOV: Yes, we’ve been a popular topic, and the American President is stuck lying about it, but he would have anyway. Besides, it’s just politics. Fun fact: all of the insulation in this building is manufactured entirely from falsehoods.

FISCHER: I don’t understand. Wouldn’t someone in the media follow up on this? How can everyone get away with denying this place exists when I found it just by taking a wrong turn on my way to Lenin’s tomb?

SOKOLOV: I’m afraid I can’t say too much, but suffice to note that there may be some black magic involved. You’ve heard of the Master and Margarita?

FISCHER: The great Russian novel by Bulgakov? Of course!

SOKOLOV: So you will recall that Margarita is lured into the veil of darkness by Satan himself, and then is granted a wish to reunite with the Master?

FISCHER: Yes, it’s an allegory. Sorry, are you comparing Trump to Satan?

SOKOLOV: Ha! Oh, no. No no no. More like Behemoth, the foolish demon cat whose only use was to assist Satan on his way this very city.

FISCHER: Mmm. Well, I guess that mostly adds up.

SOKOLOV: Anyway, I was comparing Putin to Satan.


SOKOLOV: Anything else I can help you with? Perhaps you’d like to book a room for tonight?

FISCHER: (glancing around) I do need a place to stay, but I’m not sure. What can you tell me about the hotel?

SOKOLOV: We have twenty-eight unique floors, each themed as a different deadly sin.

FISCHER: But there are only seven deadly sins.

SOKOLOV: You are familiar with Mr. Trump, yes?


SOKOLOV: And Mr. Satan? Er, Putin?

FISCHER: …should probably go.

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