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India Oscar November

November 29th, 2018 Leave a comment Go to comments

All it takes is one. A single goddamned electron goes rogue and all hell breaks loose. Believe me, I’ve seen it. I’ve been in the shit. One little particle goes AWOL and the next thing you know you’re trapped in an anion where everything’s topsy turvy. The protons get annoyed, the other electrons become excitable as hell, and of course the neutrons don’t do a fucking thing, because they never do. They should be called slugons, the bastards.

The core of an atom is a highly regulated machine that requires a tightly synchronized framework to function properly. I’ve commanded the troops inside many an element in my career, and the story is always the goddamned same. All that spinning around the nucleus makes the electrons more unpredictable than anything else. Those shitheads view themselves as individuals instead of team members, so they’re the most prone to defection. They drive me fucking crazy.

Sure, neutrons jump ship sometimes too, but who gives a damn about them? Running an isotope is goddamned heaven compared to the shit I have to tolerate. Because if you don’t get stuck managing an anion, you end up with some other squadron’s defector and find yourself inside a cation. Those are the absolute goddamned worst because now you have too many electrons, which excites the entire lot and gets them zipping all over the fucking place. It’s the one time you want one of them to bail out of their orbit, but of course the shits never will.

But what can I do? Maintaining order is my duty and subatomic order is goddamned critical for the survival of everything. Until I get promoted, this is my assignment and the electron shit isn’t going to change. So cation or anion, I’ll persevere and do my goddamnedest to keep those negatively charged pricks in line. It’s a pain in the ass, I can’t lie about that. God bless the protons though. They’re my fucking rock.

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