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The strings attached

November 24th, 2018 Leave a comment Go to comments

Now that we’ve shaken hands and signed the contract, there are a few things I probably tell you. So, in no particular order:

  1. I’ve had my fingers crossed this entire time.
  2. If you read the appended section of the contract’s footnotes, you’ll see that I’m bound by the laws of my religion, Fibberism. Our first commandment is to never tell the truth.
  3. I signed Elmer Fudd’s name on the dotted line.
  4. We specifically never made eye contact through the entire negotiating process, meaning legally, all of it was done in bad faith.
  5. I am technically an android. You should have included a captcha box on the form.
Categories: death
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