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Happy campers

October 23rd, 2018 Leave a comment Go to comments

RIVERSIDE FOREST CLEARING, DAYTIME

(CALVERS family enters, each wearing a backpack)

ROGER CALVERS: Check out this spot! This is a perfect place to stop for the night!

SUSAN CALVERS: Oh honey, it is! Kids, welcome to our new hotel room!

BILLY CALVERS: Wow, this is great!

MOLLY CALVERS: Neat find, Dad!

ROGER: Now we can all relax and truly enjoy ourselves. It was a bit of an adventure getting here, I know, but Billy, now you know how to make a tourniquet, so that’s cool, right?

BILLY: It sure is! Falling down that rocky hill was awesome! I bet I was going 100 miles an hour!

SUSAN: Ha ha, at least, sweetie! And Molly, now you know how to set a broken bone with a splint made of tent poles.

MOLLY: This is the best. None of the other girls at school have a broken arm!

ROGER: Well, I guess I should set up what parts of the tents I can without the poles. (begins unpacking his backpack) And in a bit, we can try making a fire so we can cook the food we packed this m-

SUSAN: (stepping on a metal tent spike) Ow! Oh dear, I seem to have impaled my foot. Ha ha, I’m such a klutz!

ROGER: Oh darling, you’re so zany! (pulls spike from her foot) That’s an impressive hole, all right. You can clean it out in the river here.

(SUSAN hobbles to the riverside)

BILLY: Dad, is it normal for my leg to be purple and feel numb?

ROGER: Absolutely! That’s how you know the tourniquet is working.

BILLY: Cool!

SUSAN: Kids! A minnow just swam through the hole in my foot!

MOLLY: No way! This is the best trip ever!

ROGER: It sure is! Now, it looks like we actually forgot to pack the food, but it’s okay. I’ve read that tree bark is full of nutrients.

BILLY: (pointing) I saw an anthill over there. I bet we can suck some ants out of that too!

SUSAN: (hobbling back) A terrific source of protein for a growing boy!

MOLLY: I want some pine needles with my ants!

ROGER: What a wonderful family moment. Okay, Billy, now where did you say that anthill was? (stepping out of view) Oh wait, I think I see it.

SUSAN: It’s starting to get chilly. I guess we’ll have to get started on that fire soon. Kids, maybe you can help me gather some wo-

ROGER: (pursued by a black bear as he runs back in view) Looks like I made a new friend!

BILLY: Wow! How neat!

MOLLY: I’ve never seen a real bear before!

SUSAN: Your father always goes above and beyond to make our vacations special.

ROGER: (being disemboweled by the bear) Isn’t this great?

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