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Splaceholding

September 23rd, 2018 Leave a comment Go to comments

I know it sounds abstract, but I assure you it’s a solid investment in the long term. Once the technology catches up with the market, the value of this area will skyrocket, no pun intended. But to answer your question, yes, what you’re looking at is literally an empty lot. There’s no air out there or anything else. Some light, I guess, but not even much of that. Still, the betting markets remain bullish on the future of dark matter, so there’s that. Plus, we’re talking ninety trillion cubic acres here!

Yes, I understand it’s a burden to have to pay the twenty million dollars for the shuttle up here, but there’s no other way to truly appreciate the amount of room we’re talking about. There’s no point in raising your voice, my helmet’s earphones have a noise level regulator anyway. Anyway, it’s legally required that you visit outer space before you’re allowed to own any of it for some reason. I think they explain it in Men in Black 2, or maybe it was 3.

Since it’s going to take another couple minutes for our pod to begin its descent, here’s a fun story: we couldn’t agree on what to call the company at first because like I said, it’s a forward-thinking concept but abstract. Ahead of its time, right? Well, one person suggested that since it was a “place in space” we should call it Splace, which records show occurred approximately thirty minutes before the cabin’s oxygen feed abruptly shut off.

Our secretary Donna collapsed onto the Enter button in that moment to solidify the company name, but she saved us all by inadvertently switching on the backup air generators. Which has been automated since, by the way! But that’s where we came from, and where we’re going is unlimited. The beauty of this opportunity is that nature abhors a vacuum, and to fulfill our human version of that is to own it all.

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