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The future of sleep!

You there! Ma’am! You look like you’re feeling tired today. Perhaps I could interest you in taking a look at the latest in revolutionary sleep technology? This is indeed the most amazing breakthrough in the art of rest! Allow me to introduce you to the Sleep Silo, the world’s first cylindrical bed!

Amazing, right? Well, let me t- Sorry? The tired comment? Oh! Well, that’s just something I say to get people to stop by the booth. I didn’t mean anything by it, miss. Those bags under your eyes are actually quite flattering, I’d say. And your haggard appearance suggests you’re a woman living life to its fullest. Now, let me show you how the Silo works!

You start by unhinging the top half like this, and then climbing in. Notice the mattress lining on all sides. Even the pillow is 360 degrees, like a donut! Then once you’re inside, you close the lid and wait for the magic to begin. The Silo will begin by gradually turning so it makes one full revolution over the course of an hour to lull you to sleep, a-

Well, calling it as “sarcophagusish” seems a bit harsh. Though I should note that if you detach the motor from the pod, it is a perfectly legal burial receptacle. I mean, you look tired, but I don’t think you’re quite ready for that! Right, sorry. It’s just those things under your eyes are practically Hefty bags! But you still look great! Deeply sleep deprived…but great!

So, after an hour the Silo will begin spinning with increasing revolutions, turning you over more than one hundred times per hour, something that’s thought to be good for your REM cycle. No, we haven’t verified that exactly, but our lead engineer swore that it was true, and why would a science guy fib? Anyway, rolling around constantly like this is also a good way to prevent bedsores, which could be good for someone as overweight as you ar-

Where are you going? Ma’am? This is the future of sleep!

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