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Water Pitcher

I’ll never forget him. Aguan Manantial. 99.995% water, a real anomaly. Ace pitcher out of UNC. We called him the Water Pitcher.

His delivery was so fluid, so wavily deceptive. Hardly anyone could get a hit off of him. No shit: he retired with a career 0.54 ERA, which is insane! But…

…he only pitched the two starts. We all believed after his first outing that he was the key to turning our team’s fortunes around. Us guys had a thirst and he quenched it. We were all juiced up and feeling good.

Until Aguan’s next start. The second batter lined the ball into his chest, causing it to explode and for our starter to collapse on the mound. He was hemorrhaging his internal reservoir clean before us infielders could even reach the mound. Some of us tried to cry into his wound to help refill the cavity, which was of course useless.

So that was over as quickly as it started. I mean, Aguan had a flow to him that I’m not sure can ever be replicated, but this team is just so dammed that of course it didn’t work.

Categories: death
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