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The thirst American

March 23rd, 2018 Leave a comment Go to comments

EXT. SCHOOLYARD, DAYTIME

KOOL-AID MAN: (crashing through wall) Hey, everyone! So glad to be here!

CROWD: Yay!!

K-AM: Whoa,

K-AM: Gee, that’s a shame.

BEN FRANKLIN: Well, you’ve got that big pitcher of liquid there. Why don’t you give me a bit?

K-AM: The Kool-Aid? I’m sorry, sir, but I could never do that. This is my blood! I’m only here to assist with a transfusion for the Capri Sun Boy!

FRANKLIN: Bah! Don’t you know I’m one of the pioneers of refrigeration? You’d be nothing without me!

K-AM: I know, but Capri is very low on electrolytes and is clinging to his straw for life! I need to conserve thi-

(FRANKLIN yanks pitcher away from KOOL-AID MAN)

FRANKLIN: I’ll impale you with this kite, you bastard! (vigorously drinks Kool-Aid)

K-AM: (sobbing) Oh my god! Capri Sun Boy will die for sure!

FRANKLIN: (wiping his mouth) Ahh! Now that hit the spot. Calm down, Fruit Punchy. We’ll just freeze him until we can make more sugary beverages to revive him.

K-AM: Wow! I guess that could work. You really are a genius!

FRANKLIN: Sure am. Now, hold this lightning rod for a second. I want to test how drink mixes affect conductivity. You in?

K-AM: OH YEAH!!

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