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I Supersized

March 16th, 2018 Leave a comment Go to comments

(sung to the tune of Ace of Base’s “The Sign”)

Play at 0:25 on the above:

(Sigh) I needed a quick bite
My stomach was grumbling extremely bad
And I’m not someone who can go sans food
(I) spied a McDonald’s
Stopped in for something to eat
(Drive-thru-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Is the combo enough?

I supersized, kept my hunger neutralized with more french fries
They were outstanding, made all of my glands sing
It wasn’t wise, took my diet by surprise, got tantalized
Worked so hard to get shaped up, but my willpower wasn’t very strong
(My habits went all wrong)

(My) waistline ballooned
My body weight exploded off the charts
Obsessed with fast food, all that I could enjoy
(Un)leashed a monsoon
Of greasy burger farts
(Eww-eww-eww-eww-eww)
Just one huff was rough

It’s no surprise, Big Macs and apple pies went to my thighs
Belly expanding, tricky to remand things
I was chastised, my doctor warned I’d die before her eyes
Said I’d have to give it up if I wanted to live a life that’s long
(But then what’s to prolong?)

It’s no go

Health’s overprized
And I don’t need no advice
I’m fine with my new expanding amplitude
Hail fast food
Makes me glow
Bought a franchise, and I’ve set my goals and eyes up toward the skies
Gonna shake this whole town up and be living the dream before too long

(Please patronize, we’re unioni-ee-i-ee-zed)
I publicize
(With all my tries, can’t reach you gu-ee-i-ee-ys)
(I’ve merchandized, I’ve advertised)
Alone with fries
Devour them between my cries, embrace demise

Categories: death
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