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Hump day

February 21st, 2018 Leave a comment Go to comments

Look, I know we’ve been over this, and I’ve been in here about this type of thing before. Of course I know that, but that commercial is ancient at this point. How is it still funny to seemingly everyone here that they bring it up every Wednesday, just because there’s a camel working in accounting who was in a one-off ad years back? Don’t these things ever get old? It’s not like I was even working here at the time. I just started two weeks ago!

Camels spit stomach juices in the face of their aggressors, Maureen! It’s instinct! And Lindsey’s eye will be fine, just like Kathy and Steve’s were. We’ve been over this, it’s not like I can help it. I thought you sent out a memo about teasing me about that commercial! God, it drives me just crazy. Hump day! HUMP DAY. I hate it.

I understand the complaint against me here, it’s not that. I’m saying it’s a reflex, something I can’t help. And I’m not the only culpable party here! There was your memo! If they could just let that stupid joke go, none of this would be a problem. I… Yes, I understand the rule of responsible actors! I mean, I take as much responsibility as is mine, but…

Right, the three strikes. I remember that from orientation, sure. But what… Wait, are you saying acting on instinct consistently and predictably counts as a strike? I can’t help it! IT’S IN MY DNA, MAUREEN! WHY CAN’T YOU UND-


Oh, god. Maureen. You see what I mean about instinct. It just happens! I get worked up, and… That doesn’t seem fair. Come on, really? I’d be a model employee if people who just let that joke go! You can’t fire me! ACTING ON SUBCONSCIOUS REFLEX DOESN’T CONSTITU-


Great, another job falls apart in under three weeks. Fucking Geico.

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