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Pizza pizza

February 1st, 2018 Leave a comment Go to comments

(sung to the tune of the Monkees’ “I’m a Believer”)

It’s the pizza cook off time of year again
Squaring off against my competition
I’m an underdog
But a guy can dream
I walk into the room and I scream

“I’ll put you in your place!
I’m Little Caesar!
And I’m an ace
With these cheesy pies!”
Then they groan
(hmm, uuugh)
But that’s just the teaser
I’ve got something else left in mind

Though Pizza Hut and Domino’s are here
Papa John’s the one in my sights
He’s always winning
Every year’s the same
But this time he’s in for a surprise

I spray him with some mace
I’m a big cheater
Right in the face
And render him blind
He’s vomiting
(mmm, yuuuck)
Onto his sneakers
Everyone’s lost their appetite

Oh, but the judge, she saw me
And is onto my scheme
Now she’s walking this way looking steamed

Well, it’s worst case
For Little Caesar
I’m disgraced
And disqualified
Yeah, but look at John
(oooh nooo)
He’s having a seizure
Going comatose
With a whine

Now he’s been replaced
By Little Caesar
Legacy’s erased
Because he just died
No need to grieve, sir
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Hail Little Caesar, yeah
The overachiever, yeah

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