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Snickers commercial

January 2nd, 2018 Leave a comment Go to comments

Study: Low glucose relates to greater aggression in married couples

“People are often the most aggressive against the people to whom they are closest—intimate partners. Intimate partner violence might be partly a result of poor self-control. Self-control of aggressive impulses requires energy, and much of this energy is provided by glucose derived from the food we eat. We measured glucose levels in 107 married couples over 21 days. To measure aggressive impulses, participants stuck 0–51 pins into a voodoo doll that represented their spouse each night, depending how angry they were with their spouse. To measure aggression, participants blasted their spouse with loud noise through headphones. Participants who had lower glucose levels stuck more pins into the voodoo doll and blasted their spouse with louder and longer noise blasts.”



(Fred enters. Sally is seated at the kitchen table with her head in her hands.)

FRED: Hiya, babe! How was your day?

SALLY: (not moving) Uhhhnnnggghhkk!! Don’t you “babe” me! (quickly looks up and removes a voodoo doll from her lap)

FRED: Oh! Now Sally, we’ve been through th-

SALLY: (stabbing the doll’s eyes with five pins) EEEYAH!!

FRED: (grasping at his eyes) Ahh!! Sally, please!! Ple-

SALLY: (maniacally stabbing more pins into the doll’s chest) EEEYAH! EEEYAH!! EEEYAH!!

FRED: (falling backward) Gah, Jesus Christ! I’m having a heart attack! (collapses onto floor)

SALLY: (now standing over Fred and speaking into a bullhorn) SO HOW IS THAT CUTE LITTLE SECRETARY OF YOURS?

FRED: (coughing, clutching at the air)

SALLY: (still into the bullhorn) YOU MOTHERFUCKER!! (activates police siren button on bullhorn and begins stabbing the doll in the chest again) EEEY-

FRED: (struggling for breath) Oh…god…please! Please stop! Wait…wait! Did you have lunch today?

SALLY: (hesitating, then turning off the siren) …no. I guess I forgot.

FRED: (collecting himself) Ah! Here, have this, my love! (hands Sally a Snickers bar)

SALLY: (chewing) Zgthum pffhh um blundthmm.

FRED: Ugh! Please close your mouth!

SALLY: Sorry. My blood sugar was low again. How silly of me, honey! (smiles, begins helping Fred from the floor)

VOICEOVER: You’re not yourself when your blood sugar is low. Reach for a Snickers and be yourself again! (guitar riff)

FRED: (standing, also smiling) Boy, am I glad that’s resolved. Now, did I tell you that my secretary Anna’s twin sister stopped by the office today? God, those two. What a pair of knoc-

(Police siren begins again. Camera fades to black as Sally begins beating Fred over the head with the bullhorn.)

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